Conrad Myer was at the supermarket considering which packet of toilet rolls gave the best value per wipe and heading towards the beer chiller. He manoeuvred his trolley past the magazine racks glancing at the covers with beaming celebrities with stories about their families or their dogs or their latest cause. Tossers, he thought, enjoying his relative anonymity from playing football or at least the sort of invisibility a contract worth eight hundred thousand dollars a year provided. This was not including endorsements for Chunkos pet food, Rolling O tyres and Jaguar, ensuring a new set of wheels every year. Being gifted at kicking a ball had its advantages and despite the intense training and aches and pains, life was still good. He could grab a takeaway coffee without creating too much distraction except for the occasional request for a selfie or two. As the saying goes, men wanted to be like him, women just wanted to be with him.
Fast forward fifteen months, it all changed. At a movie premiere, Jessica Townsley, the hot new it-girl literally fell into his lap after tripping on her flowing designer dress. Dozens of flashes captured the brief but intense meeting of eyes, the moment ultimately destined for the following week’s ‘Women’s Own’ and ‘Entertainment Now!’. The unfortunate nip-slip undoubtedly heading for less salacious mediums or at least in the same women’s magazines but with a superimposed basketball over the offending nipple and some line like ‘only one point for Myer.’
Conrad’s football career flourished and the money and endorsements flowed; Jessica’s television presence grew and movie offers were forthcoming. The wedding date was kept under wraps and finally arrived along with every sporting celebrity and local television celeb who was anybody, only if they could be prised free of their mobile for the duration of the ceremony.
They drove out to the airport, the previous three days a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. Two boys on skateboards whizzed by the roadside bus stop, one drawing the attention of the other to the blown-up cover of a smiling Conrad and Jessica with ‘Exclusive!’ at the bottom.
He’s sure he can see the younger one yelling “Tosser”!
Andrew Hawkey
Fast forward fifteen months, it all changed. At a movie premiere, Jessica Townsley, the hot new it-girl literally fell into his lap after tripping on her flowing designer dress. Dozens of flashes captured the brief but intense meeting of eyes, the moment ultimately destined for the following week’s ‘Women’s Own’ and ‘Entertainment Now!’. The unfortunate nip-slip undoubtedly heading for less salacious mediums or at least in the same women’s magazines but with a superimposed basketball over the offending nipple and some line like ‘only one point for Myer.’
Conrad’s football career flourished and the money and endorsements flowed; Jessica’s television presence grew and movie offers were forthcoming. The wedding date was kept under wraps and finally arrived along with every sporting celebrity and local television celeb who was anybody, only if they could be prised free of their mobile for the duration of the ceremony.
They drove out to the airport, the previous three days a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. Two boys on skateboards whizzed by the roadside bus stop, one drawing the attention of the other to the blown-up cover of a smiling Conrad and Jessica with ‘Exclusive!’ at the bottom.
He’s sure he can see the younger one yelling “Tosser”!
Andrew Hawkey
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